So Why Won’t They Talk About Those Missile Strikes?

Barack Obama’s butt-boy, Robert Gibbs, does not want to talk about today’s missile strikes, and we’re not sure why. During his second White House briefing, Gibbs was asked by NBC’s Chuck Todd about those damn missile strikes that killed 19 people in Pakistan, and he said: “I’m not going to get into this matter.” MORE>

President Obama Tries This Oath Thingy One More Time

President Obama has decided to retake the presidential oath that was screwed up by Justice Roberts on the day of his inauguration, because he wants to make sure he’s actually president. But, seriously, who cares? It’s not like these presidents actually ever do what’s right by the people. They all follow the same folks who put them in office.

So, perhaps it should be changed to:

I (insert puppet’s name here), do solemnly swear, that I will faithfully execute the demands of AIPAC, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the state of Israel with taxpayer dollars.

We’ve got another one…

I (insert puppet’s name here), do solemnly swear, that I will faithfully execute the demands of my corporate handlers, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the profits of Wall Street witht taxpayer bailouts, and shit like that.

Shocker: Ted Kennedy, Robert Byrd Sick At Inauguration Luncheon

According to ABC News, Sen. Ted Kennedy collapsed during an inauguration luncheon in Washington, and his colleague Sen. Robert KKK Byrd, was carried out in a wheelchair. Either the two were completely overwhelmed by Obama’s swearing in, or something was put in that food. Regardless, we wish them well.

Inauguration: Barack Obama Thanks His Cousin, Bush, For His “Service”

Oh, how nice of president Obama to thank his cousin, George Bush, for his “service” to America. But what service? George Bush spent 8 long illegal years destroying America. Yes, we know this is politics, but what service, really?

Inauguration:Praise The Lawd, Aretha Franklin Covered Her Boobs

The cold Washington weather prompted Aretha to keep her coat on, while she sang ‘America’ at the inauguration, and that’s a good thing, because there are no ways to hide those boobs. Regardless, the queen of soul did a wonderful job.

We Know Justice Roberts Screwed Up Obama’s Oath Thingy On Purpose

So back in 2005, when George Bush appointed John Roberts to the supreme court, Obama proudly voted against his appointment. And in 2009, Justice Roberts proudly screwed up Obama’s swearing in thingy.

Justice Roberts apparently put the “faithfully” in the wrong place, ON PURPOSE, and Obama proudly corrected the mistake.

Justice Roberts: …that I will execute the Office of President to the United States faithfully.”

Barack Hussein Obama: …that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States

In other words, Justice Roberts purposefully rearranged  faithfully, because not only was he reading the oath, but he took the opportunity to personally ask Obama whether the Kenyan-born black Muslim is ready to lead Christian white America. It was so obvious.

Photo Opportunity: Barack Obama Paints On MLK Day

Today is Martin Lufta Da King Day, and Obama paid tribute to the late great by painting a homeless shelter for teens in Washington. Hey, why speak out on the Gaza massacre ,or resist corporate bailouts, when you can just, umm, paint. We’re pretty sure Dr. King painted at least once in his lifetime.

The Obama Train Heads To DC For Flashiest Inauguration, Ever

Barack Obama the copycat rode a train from Philadelphia to Washington, but first stopped in Wilmington, Delaware, to pick up his VeePee, Joe Biden, because Obama is a flashy motherfucker and a materialistic hypocrite. Hey, while you’re struggling to pay your subprime mortgage, your messiah is enjoying his millions, while having the flashiest inauguration, ever. And, what’s up with his infatuation with Abe Lincoln? Does he not know that Lincoln did not like the Negroids, and wanted them all deported to Liberia, even though they were not all from Liberia? Moreover, Lincoln was an authoritarian, who jailed folks for the stupidest thing, like farting in public. In other words, the asshole, George Bush, who is currently reviled by the world, will be honored for his dictatorial genes, in the very near future. Anyway, Obama is and will always be a celebrity, with his celebrity inauguration. MORE>