Shocker: Ted Kennedy, Robert Byrd Sick At Inauguration Luncheon
According to ABC News, Sen. Ted Kennedy collapsed during an inauguration luncheon in Washington, and his colleague Sen. Robert KKK Byrd, was carried out in a wheelchair. Either the two were completely overwhelmed by Obama’s swearing in, or something was put in that food. Regardless, we wish them well.
Inauguration: Barack Obama Thanks His Cousin, Bush, For His “Service”
Oh, how nice of president Obama to thank his cousin, George Bush, for his “service” to America. But what service? George Bush spent 8 long illegal years destroying America. Yes, we know this is politics, but what service, really?
Inauguration:Praise The Lawd, Aretha Franklin Covered Her Boobs
The cold Washington weather prompted Aretha to keep her coat on, while she sang ‘America’ at the inauguration, and that’s a good thing, because there are no ways to hide those boobs. Regardless, the queen of soul did a wonderful job.
We Know Justice Roberts Screwed Up Obama’s Oath Thingy On Purpose
So back in 2005, when George Bush appointed John Roberts to the supreme court, Obama proudly voted against his appointment. And in 2009, Justice Roberts proudly screwed up Obama’s swearing in thingy.
Justice Roberts apparently put the “faithfully” in the wrong place, ON PURPOSE, and Obama proudly corrected the mistake.
Justice Roberts: …that I will execute the Office of President to the United States faithfully.”
Barack Hussein Obama: …that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States
In other words, Justice Roberts purposefully rearranged faithfully, because not only was he reading the oath, but he took the opportunity to personally ask Obama whether the Kenyan-born black Muslim is ready to lead Christian white America. It was so obvious.
Photo Opportunity: Barack Obama Paints On MLK Day
Today is Martin Lufta Da King Day, and Obama paid tribute to the late great by painting a homeless shelter for teens in Washington. Hey, why speak out on the Gaza massacre ,or resist corporate bailouts, when you can just, umm, paint. We’re pretty sure Dr. King painted at least once in his lifetime.
The Obama Train Heads To DC For Flashiest Inauguration, Ever
Barack Obama the copycat rode a train from Philadelphia to Washington, but first stopped in Wilmington, Delaware, to pick up his VeePee, Joe Biden, because Obama is a flashy motherfucker and a materialistic hypocrite. Hey, while you’re struggling to pay your subprime mortgage, your messiah is enjoying his millions, while having the flashiest inauguration, ever. And, what’s up with his infatuation with Abe Lincoln? Does he not know that Lincoln did not like the Negroids, and wanted them all deported to Liberia, even though they were not all from Liberia? Moreover, Lincoln was an authoritarian, who jailed folks for the stupidest thing, like farting in public. In other words, the asshole, George Bush, who is currently reviled by the world, will be honored for his dictatorial genes, in the very near future. Anyway, Obama is and will always be a celebrity, with his celebrity inauguration. MORE>
Hobo Utah Congressman Sleeps In His Office
Newly elected Utah congressman, Jason Chaffetz, wants to demonstrate his fiscal conservatism, so what does he do? He ditches the typical apartment renting in Washington, and instead uses his office closet as a way to save money. The idiot sleeps on an uncomfortable cot, as if buying a twin bed is such a hard sacrifice.
Oh yeah, Chaffetz? Does this mean you won’t go all fascist on us, and support future corporate bailouts and shit?
Kit Bond Won’t Be A Senator No More
Lobbyist whore Kit Bond is tired of being a lobbyist whore, so he’s quitting after this. The two decades plus old Republican senator from Missouri announced today that he won’t seek re-election in 2010, because he does not “aspire to be the oldest Senator in Missouri.” He also said: “Public service has been a blessing and a labor of love for me … but I have decided that my Senate career will end after this, my fourth term.” Yeah – whatever, Kit. What he meant to say is that he’s tired of spreading it for those generous lobbyists. Uh huh.
