Dumb Polls:John McCain Wins By A Landslide In Israel
Oh, what a shocking surprise. Israeli-Americans overwhelmingly support John McCain over that Muslim boy Barack Obama, according an Israel-based exit poll. If it were up to them, Mccain would win by a landslide – so thank G-d it’s not up to them. However, if they want, we will gladly ship John McCain, or what’s left of him, to Israel as early as right now.
Dumb Polls: Nearly A Quarter Of Texans Are Dangerously Dumb
According to a recent University of Texas survey, 23% of Texans think Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim. Why would they think such a thing? No, really. What the poll did not tell us is that those very same folks who think he’s a closet Muslim are the same ones claiming he’s anti-white (In other words, anti-half himself) because he attended Jeremiah Wright’s church for two long decades. In other words, Obama is a church-going Muslim. Whatever.
Jeremiah Wright Is Back
You can stop crying now, because Jeremiah Wright is back. And you have the desperate Rethuglicans to thank. See, the Rethugs have to remind white folk that Barack Obama is a racist, undercover Muslim who cannot be trusted. So, please think of Jermiah Wright and his sexy sermons when you vote on Tuesday. Remember: A vote for Barack Obama is a vote for Jeremiah Wright. And we know how Americans love Jeremiah Wright. Did we say Jeremiah Wright?
Are Virginians Moronic Enough To Fall For This Crap?
Rethuglicans are trying to prevent Barack Obama from painting red Virginia blue, so they’re engaging in a bunch of dirty, Rethuglicanish tricks, because they’re Rethuglicans. Like – for example, distributing bogus fliers to Democrats that tells them to vote on November 5, instead of November 4. Ha! They can try to steal the election, but it’s not going to happen this time, because Barack Obama is invincible, and that’s a fact.
Horny Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Sent To The Slammer
Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick will go to jail for being an idiot. Let’s face it: Nearly all politicians cheat, but most are smart enough not to use work-related cell phones to send horny texts to their mistresses. He deserves jail time just for being an idiot.
Skinheads Want Barack Obama’s Head
Those “fringe” weirdos you hear screaming “Kill Obama,” and “Terrorist” at rallies held by John McCain and Sarah Palin are starting to make themselves visible to the public. In fact, two of them were arrested today for allegedly plotting to obliterate Barack Obama and a bunch of other unknown and unimportant black people. Unlike black racist Jesse Jackson who wants Obama’s nuts, the white racists want his head. Well, not really. They want to cut off the heads of 14 black people, because that’s the magic number for their racist cult or some shit like that. Whatever. Anyway, if Jesse gets his nuts, and those crazy white people get his head, then there would be no good part of Obama left, and change won’t come to America.
Amazon.com Selling The Cutest Terrorist Costume, Ever
If you still haven’t already made up your mind about what you want to be for Halloween, consider this “terrorist” costume – as categorized by the folks at Amazon.com. No, it’s not a mask of a black Ken. It’s Barack Obama, silly! Grab yours before they’re gone.
Rethuglican Ted Stevens Guilty of Doing Rethuglicanish Things
Surprise! Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was found guilty of having butt-sex with oil executives in return for home renovations and, umm, a bunch of other stuff. Why now? Because fellow Alaskan Sarah Palin is running for Vice President, and the gotcha media along with the Democrats in Alaska are plotting to destroy her simply because she’s a woman, and also because they’re blindly in love with Barack Obama. No, really – Stevens, like the vast majority of idiots in government, was bought and paid for a long time ago. And that’s all fine and dandy, because, as he was facing federal charges, 63% of Alaskans voted for him in the recent senatorial primaries, anyway. Yeah – America’s insatiable addiction to idiot politicians is undeniable.
Sarah Palin, Elisabeth Hasselbeck Think The Whole World Is Sexist
Sarah Palin and her fellow cheerleader and co-host of ‘The View’ Elizabeth Hasselback appeared together today at a rally in Tampa, Florida. What did the two clueless chicks have to say? Oh, that the “gotcha” media is so very sexist for criticizing Palin for using donor funds to buy ultra expensive clothes. In other words, it’s completely unacceptable to question a public figure who claims to be a fiscal conservative, representing the Wal-mart shopping hockey moms of America, while flaunting expensive attire she purchased with other peoples’ money. Oh, and it’s not like John Edwards was criticized and mocked by the “liberal” media after it was discovered he paid four hunnit bucks for a haircut, or anything.
Certainly, the horny executive look has been quite effective in attracting supporters, but how different would things be had she used her own cash?
John McCain Forgets Name Of Former Sec Of State Who Endorsed Him
Good news! John McCain does not agree with Rush Limbaugh’s assertions that Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama because of race (So he says…). But he is very disappointed in his friend of 25 years for abandoning him for Obama. But that’s ok, because a total of 5 former secretary of state folks have endorsed his candidacy. Not that they matter, because if they did, McCain would not have struggled so hard to remember one of their names.
