Unknown Alaska Governor Sarah Palin Is John McCain’s Idea Of Change
Evidently, John McCain is incapable of separating his fetish for second-rate beauty queens from his public life. Look at who he chose as his running mate. No, not Mitt Romney! It’s Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska! Who? That’s what we said! But that’s before spending some time looking her up on Wikipedia and other inner-net sources. We found out she’s nothing but a Hillary Clinton reject who likes guns, religion, and popping babies. The broad has 5 kids, including a newborn with Down syndrome. Oh, and she eats moose stew; a good reason why she should stay her ass in Alaska, because she will not find that shit in Washington.
Certainly, this is McCain’s dumb attempt to try and match Obama’s momentum, and possibly win over disgruntled and racist-ish and, femnazi-ish Hillary supporters. Oh, and we can’t forget the religious wackos of America (better known as social conservatives), can we? Palin -- being pro-gun, pro-religion and anti-woman’s choice -- will get along with the “socially conservative” bunch great.
But we have to look to the future, like when McCain drops dead from a stroke his first year in office.
Will America be left in the hands of a horny secretary?
Indicted Rethug Alaska Senator Ted Stevens Wins Primary
Alaskans cannot seem to get enough of their crooked Senator Ted Stevens. Stevens, who’s currently facing federal charges for allegedly taking gifts from lobbyists, won the Alaska Republican primary by a whopping 63%. WTF? In other words, Stevens has demonstrated that he’s serving himself and oil companies, but not the folks who hired him – and that’s alright with the people of the great state of Alaska.
Live @ DNC: Uncle Ted Passes Liberal Torch To Barack Obama!
Liberal lion Ted Kennedy proudly and loudly roared tonight at the Democratic National Convention! The ailing, yet energized lefty, willingly and enthusiastically passed the Kennedy-esque liberal torch to the black son he’s never had, and next president of the United States, Barack Obama.
It’s clear: the guy loves Obama - not a little bit, but a big bit. How else does one explain why he would allow this black, undercover Muslim who probably wasn’t even born in America, to continue the sacred Kennedy legacy? This is quite an honor.
Live @ DNC – Michelle Obama: Please Help Elect My Baby Daddy!
Strong black woman Michelle Obama got a chance to tell her life story (for the millionth time) at the Democratic National Convention tonight! She went on and on about many things. For example, how she met her floppy-eared husband – who just so happens to be the best thing since iPods.
Actually, her speech was nothing special – very politician-y. But she did ask you all to please vote for her husband since he knows how many houses he owns -- and that’s one little ‘ol multimillion dollar mansion in Hyde Park, Chicago.
Shocker: Reggaeton Star Daddy Yankee Hearts John McCain
John McCain and Reggaeton artist Daddy Yankee appeared together at an Arizona high school, where the has-been-never-was Puerto Rican endorsed the multi-house-owning, multimillionaire Republican Senator… because, according to Daddy Yankee and Daddy Yankee only, McCain fights for the Hispanic community? A claim even John McCain obviously denies…Just look at his facial expression.
Interestingly enough, the two chose the best place to publicize the endorsement: A room at a High school packed with a bunch of horny, teenage girls, who most likely have no idea who John McCain is. Like, who’s that white hair dude?
Madonna Thinks John McCain Is As Bad As Hitler
What do John McCain, Adolph Hitler, and Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe have in common? We’re not sure, but feel free to ask aging pop queen, Madonna. The one and only material girl – who recently celebrated her 50th birthday – felt the ultimate urge to kick off her “Sticky and Sweet” tour by linking the three together while praising Al Gore (Yes, DLC Republican implant, Al Gore!) and Barack Obama. Typical Hollywood Liberal.
Yeah, we know….John McCain sucks big butt, however Madonna is just making another attempt to try and “get her groove back” since her famously infamous fauxmosexual kiss with pop-tarts Aguilera and Spears failed to do the job.
Unshocker: Barack Obama Picks More Of The Samer, John Biden For VeePee
Congratulations to Senator Joe Biden for being chosen as Barack Obama’s running mate. We know that veteran Senator is shedding some tears of joy, especially since he gets to go down in storybooks with the first mainstream African Americans who’s clean, intelligent, articulate, and nice looking. How cool is that?
On another note, Biden is what you’d call a “Washington Insider,” but he’s obviously good enough for Obama – and that’s what counts. OBiden? JoeBama? You choose, America!
Good Bye Stephanie Tubbs Jones
Fierce liberal Ohio congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones has died today of a brain hemorrhage. The Clinton fanatic was only 58 years old. Tubbs-Jones was one of the very few Democrats who stood firm against George Bush and his evil policies, so the least we could say is Rest In Peace.
Effing Ridiculous: Ralph Nader Thinks An Obama/Hillary Ticket Is “Smart”
Ralph Nader comes across as a very mindful guy. But why the hell is he endorsing an Obama/Hillary ticket?
From POLITICO.COM: “He just has to swallow hard and do what JFK did” in picking rival Lyndon Johnson in 1960, said the liberal activist and maverick presidential candidate.
Errr….Is Mr. Nader losing his bearings? Afterall, he’s ancient enough to remember how Mr. Kennedy’s ”hard swallowing” resulted in a bullet up the guy’s ass. Dear Nader: Please go away.
Obama And McCain Woo Religious Wackos
Unlike black people who are dead-set on voting for Obama, and dumb Americans who still believe in the Iraq “war,” and will therefore support John McCain, American evangelicals don’t have a favorite presidential candidate, yet. And that’s not a good thing, especially for the Republicans who rely heavily on the nutty, religious population to succeed in politics. So the fact that Rick warren – fat phony and pastor of the famous money-making Saddleback church – was willing to host a forum for the mentally wacked-out population helped a lot. The faith community was able to get a better feel of America’s top candidates. And, John McCain, being the spur of the moment type of guy, beat Barack Obama hands down.
Congratulations to all the Evangelicals who have made up their minds, ala Rick Warren’s Saddleback church. May the Lord be with you.
