Mike Gravel Will Make Another Run For President!
Former Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel has left the Democratic Party. The loud and crazy former senator of Alaska is now a member of the Libertarian party, and is seeking the nomination of the party, thanks to Ron Paul and his revolution. Gravel thinks his former party is as imperialistic as the Republicans, and, oh, he’s so right about that. The two parties only differ on domestic policies, but when it comes to waging imperialistic wars, they’re one of the same.
John McCain Blames His Family In New Ad
Haha! Hillary Clinton Is Broke! Somebody Help Her!
Word on the street is, Hillary Clinton is broke and can’t pay her bills. The power hungry senator from New york owes tens of thousands of dollars to small business owners all across the nation, and she isn’t interested in paying up. Usually, when a candidate is cash-strapped like she is, they quit. But not our Hillary Clinton. She’s willing to screw up the same Middle Class folks she claims to be fighting for.
Bill Clinton Pushes For Third Term, Tells Dems To ‘Chill Out’
Bill says his wife will remain in the race, despite calls for her to drop out and let Obama shine. Here he is being all confident and telling the oh-so-enthusiastic crowd to chill the fuck out, and let the Billary VS Obama battle continue Of course, Bill is only interested in that third term he’s always dreamed of. And we’re afraid he just might get his way. Scary.
Chelsea Clinton Loves Her Mother More, Says She’ll Be A Better President!
Young Chelsea Clinton was only a teenager when her father was caught cheating on her mother and then lied to America about it. Now 28 years old and looking a whole lot better than she did back then, Chelsea is still obviously traumatized by her father’s dirty ways. Why else would she flat out say that her mother would be a better president than her daddy? Yeah, they have to pretend as if they’re all lovey-dovey in public, but how are they behind closed doors? Are Bill and Hillary really together? Does Chelsea hate her father? Is Hillary a lesbian? Hmmm.
John McCain Is Selling War, But Americans Want Food!
John McCain will lose the election, simply because he’s a horrible business man. The idiot continues to market himself as a “war hero” at a time when most Americans want out of Iraq and even Afghanistan. We’re living at a time where Americans can’t eat, or even sleep due to a high rate of foreclosure, and McCain is selling more wars. Evidently, economics isn’t the only thing McCain doesn’t understand as well as he should.
McCain To Struggling Americans: Drop Dead Suckaz!
John McCain does not think working Americans facing financial hardship, specifically “subprime borrowers,” should be helped by the same government that screwed them because they made “bad” decisions by exercising their basic human rights to housing. Oh yeah, baby! Pissing on the folks who you’re relying on to make it to the White House is the way to do it.
David Paterson Admits To Snorting The Good Stuff
Ever since David Paterson was sworn in as governor of New York, he’s been confessing like some paranoid altar boy. At first he admitted to boning whores while married to his hot wife (She too was screwing other whores…), and now he’s admitting to snorting cocaine and a bunch of other drugs -- some of which he’s done 20 FUCKING YEARS AGO! What the fuck else does he want America to know about him? Will he then have to pull a McGreevy on us and proclaim to be a gay American? Paterson should just do his job, and if we need to know about his personal life, we’ll just call his evil, snooping Republican rivals to do the dirty work. Sheesh.
Obama Girl Defends Her Man Against That Monster, Hillary
Barack Obama’s big titty girlfriend, who’s also a self-hating woman, is calling on Hillary Clinton to stop attacking her ebony stud. What a heart-felt song. Interestingly enough, she sounds better than 99% of what’s out there today.
Geriatric Endorsement: Nancy Reagan Endorse John McCain
Former first lady, Nancy Reagan, jumped on the “Support Your Kind” bandwagon today, and endorsed fellow geriatric, John McCain for president. Hey, if 90% black voters are supporting Obama because he’s black, and women are supporting Hillary because she’s a woman(at least she thinks she is), then why hate on Nancy? We ain’t hatin’!
